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VW Owner

One of the best reasons for owning a Volkswagen

VW Owner thanks to Keith Blake

"Sooner or later, your wife will drive home one of the best reasons for owning a Volkswagen.
Women are soft and gentle, but they hit things. If your wife hits something in a Volkswagen, it doesn’t hurt you very much.
VW parts are easy to replace. And cheap.
A fender comes off without dismantling half the car.
A new one goes on with just ten bolts, for $24.95, plus labor.
And a VW dealer always has the kind of fender you need.
Because that’s the one kind he has.
Most other VW parts are interchangeable too. Inside and out.
Which means your wife isn’t limited to fender smashing.
She can job the hood. Graze the door. Or bump the bumper.
It may make you furious, but it won’t make you poor.
So when your wife goes window-shopping in a Volkswagen, don’t worry. You can conveniently replace anything she uses to stop the car. Even the brakes."

QuotaBills
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Ideal Wife: Any woman who has an ideal husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. - Rodney Dangerfield

Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant

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My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud

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The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job. My wife told me. - Howard Nemerov

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

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I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. - Irish Proverb

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It was partially my fault that we got divorced. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. - Woody Allen

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My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

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A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly to his enemies. - John Hobbes

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

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I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop. - Winston Churchill

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


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