"Sooner or later, your wife will drive home one of the best reasons for owning a Volkswagen.
Women are soft and gentle, but they hit things. If your wife hits something in a Volkswagen, it doesn’t hurt you very much.
VW parts are easy to replace. And cheap.
A fender comes off without dismantling half the car.
A new one goes on with just ten bolts, for $24.95, plus labor.
And a VW dealer always has the kind of fender you need.
Because that’s the one kind he has.
Most other VW parts are interchangeable too. Inside and out.
Which means your wife isn’t limited to fender smashing.
She can job the hood. Graze the door. Or bump the bumper.
It may make you furious, but it won’t make you poor.
So when your wife goes window-shopping in a Volkswagen, don’t worry. You can conveniently replace anything she uses to stop the car. Even the brakes."
Fjord: Norwegian car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Take my wife - please! - Henny Youngman
Seek a wife in your own sphere. - Latin Proverb
Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Ideal Wife: Any woman who has an ideal husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante
Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb
A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb
Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig
No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde
I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. - Rodney Dangerfield
Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman
My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield
Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx
A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx
Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg
We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud
Extravagance: Anything you buy that is of no earthly use to your wife - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman
My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman
I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis
The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job. My wife told me. - Howard Nemerov
Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck
Bimbo: Any woman to whom you pay a compliment, while in the company of your wife - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield
The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. - Irish Proverb
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby
It was partially my fault that we got divorced. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. - Woody Allen
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown
During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno
Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown
My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle
When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk
I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar
My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman
Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth". - Groucho Marx
Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly to his enemies. - John Hobbes
A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin
For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor
My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow
If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry
My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop. - Winston Churchill
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright