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VW Owner
One of the best reasons for owning a Volkswagen
"Sooner or later, your wife will drive home one of the best reasons for owning a Volkswagen.
Women are soft and gentle, but they hit things. If your wife hits something in a Volkswagen, it doesn’t hurt you very much.
VW parts are easy to replace. And cheap.
A fender comes off without dismantling half the car.
A new one goes on with just ten bolts, for $24.95, plus labor.
And a VW dealer always has the kind of fender you need.
Because that’s the one kind he has.
Most other VW parts are interchangeable too. Inside and out.
Which means your wife isn’t limited to fender smashing.
She can job the hood. Graze the door. Or bump the bumper.
It may make you furious, but it won’t make you poor.
So when your wife goes window-shopping in a Volkswagen, don’t worry. You can conveniently replace anything she uses to stop the car. Even the brakes."
Women are soft and gentle, but they hit things. If your wife hits something in a Volkswagen, it doesn’t hurt you very much.
VW parts are easy to replace. And cheap.
A fender comes off without dismantling half the car.
A new one goes on with just ten bolts, for $24.95, plus labor.
And a VW dealer always has the kind of fender you need.
Because that’s the one kind he has.
Most other VW parts are interchangeable too. Inside and out.
Which means your wife isn’t limited to fender smashing.
She can job the hood. Graze the door. Or bump the bumper.
It may make you furious, but it won’t make you poor.
So when your wife goes window-shopping in a Volkswagen, don’t worry. You can conveniently replace anything she uses to stop the car. Even the brakes."
Seek a wife in your own sphere. - Latin Proverb
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson
Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb
Stardom isn't a profession, it's an accident. - Lauren Bacall
My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield
My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. - John Barrymore
A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield
Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman
You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck
Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx
When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown
My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield
Extravagance: Anything you buy that is of no earthly use to your wife - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
If you want to keep a secret, don't whisper in your wife's ear. - Amish Saying
My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman
I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis
The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde
If you treat your wife like a thoroughbred, you'll never end up with a nag. - Zig Ziglar
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain
Bimbo: Any woman to whom you pay a compliment, while in the company of your wife - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield
You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha
The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown
Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. - Joey Adams
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright
Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle
My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown
Wise Husband: One who buys his wife such fine china she won't trust him to wash the dishes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago. - Will Rogers
HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The Volkswagen Group has proved that it can remain firmly on track even when the terrain is slippery. - Martin Winterkorn
If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard
My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx
The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton
Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield
Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright
This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon
Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson
Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb
Stardom isn't a profession, it's an accident. - Lauren Bacall
My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield
My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. - John Barrymore
A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield
Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman
You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck
Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx
When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown
My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield
Extravagance: Anything you buy that is of no earthly use to your wife - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
If you want to keep a secret, don't whisper in your wife's ear. - Amish Saying
My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman
I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis
The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde
If you treat your wife like a thoroughbred, you'll never end up with a nag. - Zig Ziglar
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain
Bimbo: Any woman to whom you pay a compliment, while in the company of your wife - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield
You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha
The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown
Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. - Joey Adams
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright
Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle
My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown
Wise Husband: One who buys his wife such fine china she won't trust him to wash the dishes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago. - Will Rogers
HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The Volkswagen Group has proved that it can remain firmly on track even when the terrain is slippery. - Martin Winterkorn
If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard
My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx
The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton
Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield
Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright
This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon
Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
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