#1 humor site on the 'net

Whatever Time

How time flies at the office

Whatever Time thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

What time is it... roughly speaking?

QuotaBills
Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend. - Theophrastus

Time spent understanding people is never wasted. - Cate Huston

Hackchoo: When you sneeze and cough at the same time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The greatest time wasted is the time getting started. - Dawson Trotman

At 46 one must be a miser; only have time for essentials. - Oscar Wilde

You can take a chance with any man who pays his bills on time. - Terence

Shard by shard we are released from the tyranny of so-called time. - Patti Smith

Time and words can't be recalled, even if it was only yesterday. - Estonian Proverb

How does a project get to be a year behind schedule? One day at a time. - Fred Brooks

Give it your all. Whatever work you do, do it to the best of your ability. - Jerry Dorsman

Professional men, they have no cares;
whatever happens, they get theirs. - Ogden Nash

You live longer once you realize that any time spent being unhappy is wasted. - Ruth E Renkl

The only way to be absolutely safe is to never try anything for the first time. - Magnus Pike

What is human life? The first third a good time; the rest remembering about it. - Mark Twain

When nobody around you seems to measure up, it's time to check your yardstick. - Bill Lemley

I am long on ideas, but short on time. I expect to live to be only about a hundred. - Thomas A. Edison

Time is the scarcest resource and unless it is managed nothing else can be managed. - Peter F Drucker

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking", but I don't have that much time. - Steven Wright

Every time you think the problem is 'out there,' that very thought is the problem. - Stephen Covey

Every time your heart is broken, a doorway cracks open to a world full of new opportunities. - Patti Roberts

Four things come not back: the spoken word, the sped arrow, time past, the neglected opportunity. - Omar Ibnal-Halif

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

It takes less time to do something right the first time, than it does to explain why you did it wrong. - Unknown

There's no such thing as lack of time, only lack of focus. We can all do the things we really want to do. - Robyn Pearce

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people. - Garrison Keillor

Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn't change anything. It messes with your mind and steals your happiness. - Unknown

I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right. - Albert Einstein

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning. - John Barrymore

I do not see how a man can work on the frontiers of physics and write poetry at the same time. They are in opposition. - Paul Dirac

The more time you spend contemplating what you should have done, you lose valuable time planning what you can and will do. - Lil Wayne

If I'm losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me. It works every time, and not just in yoga. - T. Guillemets

Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects. - Herodotus

You don't need endless time and perfect conditions. Do it now. Do it today. Do it for twenty minutes and watch your heart start beating. - Barbara Sher

If you don't value your time, neither will others. Stop giving away your time and talents. Value what you know and start charging for it. - Kim Garst

When my wife says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. - Mike Vanatta

If it's flipping hamburgers at McDonald's, be the best hamburger flipper in the world. Whatever it is you do you have to master your craft. - Snoop Dogg

Freedom comes only to those who no longer ask of life that it shall yield them any of those personal goods that are subject to the mutations of time. - Bertrand Russell

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Curly Heels

Bottle Sneakret

Removed Posts

Second Hand Work

Ostrich Fill Up

Calory Bomb

Interuption Charge

Reach For Your Dreams

Perception

Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat