When You Gotta Go

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

What happens in the hot tub stays in the hot tub. - Aussie Swimmer

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

Oh, that sound? I'm in the hot tub, reading a novel. - Jane Smiley

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best. - Bob Talbert

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

Field hockey is my strongest sport, and if I lose a game, I take a long, hot bath and moan about it. - Emma Watson

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle