#1 humor site on the 'net

When You Gotta Go

Aarav wanted to test out the merchandise before Mom bought it

When You Gotta Go thanks to Mike King

Cleanup on aisle four!

QuotaBills
Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

I never feel so much myself as when I'm in a hot bath. - Sylvia Plath

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

For short term relaxation, I take a hot tub. It's my best way to unblock writer's block. - Ellen Hopkins

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


Border Agent Alert

Poopception

Shoe Laces 101

White Out

Lord Of The Rinse

Snow Shield

Canadian Breakdancing

Ninja Raccoon

Newfie Steering Wheel Lock

Marriage Barrier

Redneck Wine Holder

Snow Wall

Cold One

Baby Chat

Window Cleaning On The Edge

Father Time Snowman

Back Pain

No Extras Massage

Gooooooooooogle Air

Hot Tub Hangups

Scenery Cut and Paste

Origin of the Whoopee Cushion

Better With A Beard

Canadian Winter Smile