QuotaBillsBeer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee
Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling
I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King
I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed
Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash
Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster
When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller
We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown
Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway
When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields
Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker
Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris
It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II
Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown
One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between. - David Letterman
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits
Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill
Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain
A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown
Prophecy: The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery. - Ambrose Bierce
Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns
Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King
I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.
Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung
A library should be the delivery room for the birth of ideas - a place where history comes to life. - Norman Cousins
There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie
I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde
A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke
In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns
Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown
When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway
The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison