#1 humor site on the 'net

Winter Games

Olympic ice hockey training on your front driveway

Winter Games thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Canada is hockey. - Mike Weir

Hockey's my favorite sport. - Denis Leary

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

Every day is a great day for hockey. - Mario Lemieux

Outdoor hockey is what it is all about. - Paul Coffey

To succeed in hockey, you need teamwork. - Henry Samueli

You bring your own weather to the picnic. - Harlan Coben

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. - Rodney Dangerfield

I skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it's been. - Wayne Gretzky

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. - Charles Dudley Warner

The greatest hockey player who ever lived: Bobby Orr, and I love him. - Donald S. Cherry

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

My goal was to play in the NHL, because that is the best hockey in the world. - Jaromir Jagr

You can't play hockey with a bald spot, so I'm hanging up the skates. - Joe Sakic

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins

When it gets hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my undies in the ice box. - Marilyn Monroe

I love extreme sports, I like snowboarding and motorcross and rollerblading and hockey. - Jeremy London

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

Our team lives hockey, it dreams hockey, it eats hockey. Now if it could only play hockey. - Milton Berle

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson

We can make fun of hockey fans, but someone who enjoys Homer is indulging the same kind of vicarious bloodlust. - Steven Pinker

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

I found my prince - he's a hockey player and we met at an NHL event, the last place I'd ever expect to meet someone, but there he was. - Carol Alt

Playoff hockey is the best way to market your team. It's the best way to grow your fan base and give hope to your players and for them to develop. - Steve Yzerman


Titanic's Non-Romantic Scene

Fake News

Steep Steps

Better Lawyer

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Snow Detour

No Time For This

Kwik-Mart Math

Croatian Landscaping

Best Fairy Tale

Back In Five Minutes

Winterized Motorcycle

If IKEA Ran GM

Six Hunnit

Different Drugs

Extreme Value

Spotted Spotters

Ant Attack

Facebook Closure

African Meal on Wheels

Hadoukens

Free Gas

Wannabe Shoplifter

Breaker Bypass