#1 humor site on the 'net

World's Greatest Typo

Shoplifter conversion tip

World's Greatest Typo thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Monogamy: A synonym for monotony. - Gregory Nunn

Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

What's another word for thesaurus? - Steven Wright

Good sayings are like pearls strung together. - Chinese Proverb

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

A sage thing is timely silence, and better than any speech. - Plutarch

Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality. - Warren G Bennis

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

Retire? I can't spell the word. I'd play in a wheelchair. - Keith Richards

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain

Music is the literature of the heart; it commences where speech ends. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit. vultures. - Malcolm Muggeridge

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of. - Burt Bacharach

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

If we do not believe in freedom of speech for those we despise, we do not believe in it at all. - Noam Chomsky

I, schooled in misery, know many purifying rites, and I know where speech is proper and where silence. - Aeschylus

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

A dinosaur out of context is like a character without a story. Worse than that, the character suffers from amnesia. - Jack Horner

Language, identity, place, home: these are all of a piece - just different elements of belonging and not-belonging. - Jhumpa Lahiri

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. - C S Lewis

An organization's ability to learn, and translate that learning into action rapidly, is the ultimate competitive advantage. - Jack Welch

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell


Overloaded Mailbox

Redneck Phone

Enjoy Fresh Air

Bread Board

Snaccident

Mini Bar

Frisbee Stopper

Redneck Sushi

Redneck's Lo-Tech Mobile Phone

Downchuck

Border Agent Alert

Cadillac Clearance

Leading By Example

Wired For Coffee

Cadillac Bike

Chip and Dip

Cat Couch Nap

Redneck Trophy Fish

Country Irony

'None Of The Above' Election Option

I've Got Your Back

Vintage Campers

Great Minds of History

But That Was Yesterday