#1 humor site on the 'net

World's Greatest Typo

Shoplifter conversion tip

World's Greatest Typo thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Francis Bacon

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

Changes in language often reflect the changing values of a culture. - Ravi Zacharias

Our waking hours form the text of our lives, our dreams, the commentary. - Unknown

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of. - Burt Bacharach

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Grammar: the difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You're Nuts. - Unknown

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech. - Franklin P Jones

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

He respects Owl, because you can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right. - A. A. Milne

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

The symbolic language of the crucifixion is the death of the old paradigm; resurrection is a leap into a whole new way of thinking. - Deepak Chopra

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

Good content should be at the heart of your strategy, but it is equally important to keep the display context of that content in mind as well. - Tim Frick

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


Barn Art

Submarine Tea

NAACP Cover Up

Quad Shot

Princess Parking

Restaurant Wait-er

How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?

Butterfly Lens

Pentecost Sunday

Pike Mouth Nest

Improvise, Adapt, Overcome

Flower Lips

Bird Walker

Never Go Full Retard

Multi-Pilot Jet

Teethbrushes

Dinner Preparation: Here's looking at you!

Picture Perfect

Same Mistake Twice

How To Build A Fence

Horse-Back Riding

Social Distancing Fine

Burnout Indication

Lost Luggage