#1 humor site on the 'net

Worst Halloween Decoration

Seniors' Home scenery too close to home

Worst Halloween Decoration thanks to Emery Pettigrove

QuotaBills
No gold, no Holy Ghost. - Samuel Butler

Ghost Writer: Spooksman - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I only eat candy on Halloween. - Michael Trevino

My only career goal is to be a Halloween icon. - Nuno Roque

The tongue is the worst part of a bad servant. - Juvenal

Halloween pumpkins aglow.
Come see the show. - Unknown

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

At night, here in the library, the ghosts have voices. - Alberto Manguel

Only the knife knows what goes on in the heart of a pumpkin. - Simone Schwarz-Bart

Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes. - Zig Ziglar

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. - Steve Almond

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

The worst bankrupt in the world is the man who has lost his enthusiasm. - H.W. Arnold

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken

"Be Yourself" is about the worst advice you can give to people. - Mark Twain

I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen

You cannot climb the ladder of success dressed in the costume of failure. - Zig Ziglar

Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure. - George E Woodberry

The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober. - William Butler Yeats

This poor pumpkin gave in to rot,
and all that's left is pumpkin snot. - Shirley Thomas

My favorite word is 'pumpkin.' You are a pumpkin. Or you are not. I am. - Harrison E. Salisbury

The worst tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong. - Wilson Mizner

If you are your worst critic, don't be angry if others try to claim the title. - Faydra D. Fields

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

It's no trick loving somebody at their best. Love is loving them at their worst. - Tom Stoppard

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

I bring out the worst in my enemies and that's how I get them to defeat themselves. - Roy Cohn

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

It is impossible to go through life without trust: that is to be imprisoned in the worst cell of all, oneself. - Graham Greene

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask, while others finally feel safe to take theirs off. - Steve Maraboli

Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller

To conquer oneself is the best and noblest victory; to be vanquished by one's own nature is the worst and most ignoble defeat. - Plato

It is good for a man to invite his ghosts into his warm interior, out of the wild night, into the firelight, out of the howling dark. - A.S. Byatt

Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her worst fears would come true. - Jennifer Castle

Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good one are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon. - Unknown

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift


Divorce Defined

Paint Ladder

Spanish Restrooms

First Computer Cursor

Arsenic Wafers

Car Surgeon

Rust-ic Truck

Aisle Cleanup

Camouflage Garage

World's First Laser Pointer

Patio Losers

Tetris Cake

Tower of Hammocks

Dead Batteries

Cheers!

Roger That

What Day Is It?

Blinker Fluid

Temple Car

Family Birthday Reminder

Coffee Days

New Audi

Netherlands Parking Lot

Wine Bibber