#1 humor site on the 'net

Wrap Around Tree

At least the tree lived through the car accident

Wrap Around Tree thanks to Keith Blake

That's a wrap!

QuotaBills
My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

Time spent amongst trees is never wasted time. - Katrina Mayer

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. - Ronald Reagan

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Khalil Gibran

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

Disbelief: How you tell someone what the green stuff on a tree is - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The clearest way into the universe is through a forest wilderness. - John Muir

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach. - Upton Sinclair

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

If we surrendered to earth's intelligence, we could rise up rooted like trees. - Rainer M Rilke

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

Shady Character: A fellow who snoozes in a hammock under a tree while his wife mows the lawn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Take, if you must, this little bag of dreams. Unloose the cord, and they will wrap you round. - William Butler Yeats

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

There comes a stage at which a man would rather die cleanly by a bullet than by the unknown terror of the phantom in the forest. - Tahir Shah

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people. - Confucius

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Meal Squat

Tear-Paper Wall

Pupcakes

Restroom Signs

Dog Wallpaper

Fish Lips

Week Sales for the Weak

Accurate Pie Chart

Wooden Owl

Michael Phelps - In The Beginning

Italian Chef Memorial

Baby iMac

Guard Roos

Come And Go Door Mat

Redneck Farmer

McDonalds in South America

Stealth Snake

Camouflage Pro

Beard Fashion

Playground Drivers

In Step Horse

Finger Olympics

Cow Licks

Dog Distress