#1 humor site on the 'net

9 Months On The Inside

Baby does time, seeks new beginning

9 Months On The Inside thanks to Bonnie Sturko

Baby clothes to grab a parent's attention

QuotaBills
Nipper: Baby crab - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Deceitful: Infant who needs changing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stoic: De boid what brings de babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

Infancy conforms to nobody; all conform to it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

Sprouts: Innocent green plants snatched in their infancy and devoured alive by ravenous vegetarians - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A library should be the delivery room for the birth of ideas - a place where history comes to life. - Norman Cousins

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they'll just have to learn how to be babies longer. - Andy Warhol

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


This Rocks

Arch Support

Tired Of Snow

Drowning Danger in the Dead Sea

World Peas

Tired Truck

Harmacy

Redneck Cotter Pin

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Guitar Scooter

1947 X-ray Machine

Grouchy German

Knock Hard

Economy Flight Plan

Canadian Car Crash

Recipe Holder

Seuss Army Knife

Dustpan Waterfall

Pita Pan

Drum Kit Chandelier

TP Roll Art

Shark Circles

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Stairway Chute