Animal Puns

Nobody ever died of laughter. - Max Beerbohm

The secret to humor is surprise. - Aristotle

A day without laughter is a day wasted. - Charlie Chaplin

The only real laughter comes from despair. - Groucho Marx

Our humor turns our anger into a fine art. - Mary Kay Blakely

My puns are not trivial. They are quadrivial. - James Joyce

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. - Mark Twain

Laughter is the smile of God on a troubled world. - Phil Callaway

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. - Victor Borge

All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others. - George Orwell

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

What a strange world this would be if we all had the same sense of humor. - Bernard Williams

Like the herd animals we are, we sniff warily at the strange one among us. - Loren Eiseley

There's a good animal show on with that kindly old gent, Marlons Perkos. - Archie Bunker

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven. - Mark Twain

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals. - Agnes Repplier

Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms. - George Eliot

Laughter is a uniting force; it brings people together, and it makes hardship easier. - Montaigne

I've learned to have a sense of humor about myself. Lord knows everyone else does! - Debbie Gibson

I want someone who can keep me on my toes, has a good sense of humor and a good heart. - Carmen Electra

Of puns it has been said that they who most dislike them are least able to utter them. - Edgar Allan Poe

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

I think superheroes are heroes with flaws, and in their flaws, there is a sense of humor. - Peter Segal

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn? - Bob Hope

A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time. - Marjorie Johnson

Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage. - Erma Bombeck

If you get a diagnosis, get on a therapy, keep a good attitude and keep your sense of humor. - Teri Garr

Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts. - Sarah Silverman

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

There are a lot of things I learned from animals. One was that they couldn't hiss or boo me. - James Dean

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude. - Don Rickles

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on. - Bob Newhart

Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. - H L Mencken

Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to. - George Saunders

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

You can't deny laughter. When it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. - Stephen King

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

Monkey: 1. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees; 2. A key that won't open a door. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are a zillion variables to a hamburger. What part of the animal went into it. What coarseness. What temperature. - Danny Meyer

If an animal does something, we call it instinct. If we do the same thing for the same reason, we call it intelligence. - Will Cuppy

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. - Kahlil Gibran

Suspense is very important. Even though this is humor and they're short stories, that theory of building suspense is still there. - Sergio Aragones

Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that's beautiful. - Rashida Jones

There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about. - Criss Jami

I was named the Class Clown in the high school yearbook, so I was always turning to comedy and laughter to heal and to get me through things. - Guillermo Diaz

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it. - Robert Brault

I like a quiet evening with family or friends over, great food and great discussion, and a lot of laughter. That's really what fills my tank. - Anna Eshoo

Humor is richly rewarding to the person who employs it. It has some value in gaining and holding attention, but it has no persuasive value at all. - John Kenneth Galbraith