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Animal Puns

Puns fit for the Joe-kster

Animal Puns thanks to Jan Newell

Animal Puns thanks to Jan Newell

Animal Puns thanks to Jan Newell

Animal Puns thanks to Jan Newell

Animal Puns thanks to Jan Newell

Animal Puns thanks to Jan Newell

Animal Puns thanks to Jan Newell

QuotaBills
Nobody ever died of laughter. - Max Beerbohm

The secret to humor is surprise. - Aristotle

A day without laughter is a day wasted. - Charlie Chaplin

The only real laughter comes from despair. - Groucho Marx

Our humor turns our anger into a fine art. - Mary Kay Blakely

My puns are not trivial. They are quadrivial. - James Joyce

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. - Mark Twain

Laughter is the smile of God on a troubled world. - Phil Callaway

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. - Victor Borge

All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others. - George Orwell

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

What a strange world this would be if we all had the same sense of humor. - Bernard Williams

Like the herd animals we are, we sniff warily at the strange one among us. - Loren Eiseley

There's a good animal show on with that kindly old gent, Marlons Perkos. - Archie Bunker

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven. - Mark Twain

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals. - Agnes Repplier

Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms. - George Eliot

Laughter is a uniting force; it brings people together, and it makes hardship easier. - Montaigne

I've learned to have a sense of humor about myself. Lord knows everyone else does! - Debbie Gibson

I want someone who can keep me on my toes, has a good sense of humor and a good heart. - Carmen Electra

Of puns it has been said that they who most dislike them are least able to utter them. - Edgar Allan Poe

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

I think superheroes are heroes with flaws, and in their flaws, there is a sense of humor. - Peter Segal

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn? - Bob Hope

A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time. - Marjorie Johnson

Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage. - Erma Bombeck

If you get a diagnosis, get on a therapy, keep a good attitude and keep your sense of humor. - Teri Garr

Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts. - Sarah Silverman

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

There are a lot of things I learned from animals. One was that they couldn't hiss or boo me. - James Dean

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude. - Don Rickles

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on. - Bob Newhart

Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. - H L Mencken

Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to. - George Saunders

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

You can't deny laughter. When it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. - Stephen King

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

Monkey: 1. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees; 2. A key that won't open a door. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are a zillion variables to a hamburger. What part of the animal went into it. What coarseness. What temperature. - Danny Meyer

If an animal does something, we call it instinct. If we do the same thing for the same reason, we call it intelligence. - Will Cuppy

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. - Kahlil Gibran

Suspense is very important. Even though this is humor and they're short stories, that theory of building suspense is still there. - Sergio Aragones

Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that's beautiful. - Rashida Jones

There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about. - Criss Jami

I was named the Class Clown in the high school yearbook, so I was always turning to comedy and laughter to heal and to get me through things. - Guillermo Diaz

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it. - Robert Brault

I like a quiet evening with family or friends over, great food and great discussion, and a lot of laughter. That's really what fills my tank. - Anna Eshoo

Humor is richly rewarding to the person who employs it. It has some value in gaining and holding attention, but it has no persuasive value at all. - John Kenneth Galbraith


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