Apartment Parking

Fjord: Norwegian car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Camelot: Parking area for humped animals - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Broom parking only; all others will be toad. - Unknown

Parking Lot Attendant: Professional fender bender - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. - Robin Williams

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Off-Campus Parking: Ample extra parking usually found in an adjoining state - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious. - Steven Wright

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com