#1 humor site on the 'net

Bacon Reasons

Some people won't try bacon for religious reasons...

Bacon Reasons thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
I hid myself in food. - Gordon Ramsay

Spoils Of War: Army food - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

Either you like bacon or you're wrong. - Unknown

People will travel anywhere for good food. - Rene Redzepi

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Bacon: the main reason you are not a vegetarian. - Unknown

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

Chocolate is more than a food, but less than a drug. - R J Huxtable

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Relationships are like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

I often take exercise. Only yesterday I had breakfast in bed. - Oscar Wilde

I'm kosher except for times where I eat pork and shellfish. - Roseanne Barr

I think about food literally all day every day. It's a thing. - Taylor Swift

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

Sometimes I've believed as many as six possible things before breakfast. - Lewis Caroll

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

People who have good relationships at home are more effective in the marketplace. - Zig Ziglar

An almost perfect relationship with his father was the earthly root of all his wisdom. - C S Lewis

People want honest, flavourful food, not some show-off meal that takes days to prepare. - Ted Allen

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. - JRR Tolkien

I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

The greatest mistake we humans make in our relationships: we listen half, understand quarter, think zero, and react double. - Unknown

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Magnetic Personality

Broken Window Repair

Zamboni Mohawk

Hand Tool

Lane Closure

Chainsaw-Powered 'Dolmette' Super-Motorcycle

Lego Wall Repair

High Tensile Snow

Newborn Canadian

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Drawn To Curiosity

Redneck Cook

Owl Friends

Economy Hit Hard

Baby Sidecar

Useless Fire Extinguishers

Diamond Ring TP

Senior's Paddle Surfboard

Fat to Fit

Jumping The Gun

Owl Rotation

Weakest Part

Wine Secret

Living Inside a Garbage Truck