Bed Friends

And so to bed. - Samuel Pepys

Old friends are best. - John Selden

Say hello to my little friend. - Scarface

A fat purse never lacks friends. - Unknown

Friends don't let friends use Comic Sans. - Unknown

Strangers are friends that you have yet to meet. - Roberta Lieberman

Ah, how good it feels! The hand of an old friend. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Telepathy: Being too lazy to give your friends a call - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

If you pity rogues you are no great friend to honest men. - Thomas Fuller

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

A friend can tell you things you don't want to tell yourself. - Frances Weller

It takes a year to make a friend, but you can lose one in an hour. - Chinese Proverb

Some of my best friends are illusions. Been sustaining me for years. - Sheila Ballantyne

I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. - Barry Gray

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. - Unknown

A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The best rule of friendship is to keep your heart a little softer than your head. - Unknown

It is wise to apply the refined oil of politeness to the mechanism of friendship. - Colette

No man can be called friendless when he has God and the companionship of good books. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more. (Friend or Money!) - Unknown

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends. - Kin Hubbard

Great souls by instinct by each other turn
Demand alliance, and in friendship burn. - Joseph Addison

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. - Mark Twain

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

I'm shy in person - so afraid to confess my love - I need a go-between - our mutual friend, the Moon. - John Geddes

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. - Robert Bloch

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. - Erma Bombeck

One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything every night before you go to bed. - Ann Landers

Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure they think he is getting old. - Washington Irving

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

Happiness is being content with what you have, living in freedom and liberty, having a good family life and good friends. - Divyanka Tripathi

I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying "flee at once - all is discovered." They all left town immediately. - Mark Twain

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right. - Mark Twain

We live, in fact, in a world starved for solitude, silence, and private: and therefore starved for meditation and true friendship. - C S Lewis

We spend precious hours fearing the inevitable. It would be wise to use that time adoring our families, cherishing our friends and living our lives. - Maya Angelou