Bed Ridden and Proud Of It

Anatomy is destiny. - Sigmund Freud

Logic is the anatomy of thought. - Albert Einstein

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson

Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to someone else. - James Kirkup

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron

Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you known it is healed. - Lyanla Vanzant

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. - Albert Einstein

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

Mysterious love, uncertain treasure, hast thou more of pain or pleasure! Endless torments dwell about thee: Yet who would live, and live without thee! - Joseph Addison