Big Tame Hunter

Never shoot more than you can eat. - Unknown

He who has no falcon must hunt with an owl. - Danish Proverb

Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best. - Oscar Wilde

Fox hunting is the unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible. - Oscar Wilde

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? - George Carlin

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed. - Don Rickles

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was a kid, I used to think pork chops and karate chops were the same thing. - Shane Koyczan

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffet

I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

Attitude is everything - shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars. - Les Brown

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Consultants are people who come down from the hill to shoot the wounded after the battle is over. - Doc Blakeley

Apparently, as a kid, I used to eat spiders. Maybe there's some Freudian significance behind that. - Matt Smith

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

I was court-martialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan

When you hunt animals, you may succeed or not. But when you open the fridge, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. - Nora Volkow

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

You've probably got a device on you that can shoot decent video, so what's stopping you? Capture and share some moments. - Steve Garfield

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan