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British Accountant

Catch 22: Hire an accountant or a mathematician?

British Accountant thanks to Bryan Harrap

QuotaBills
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley

Everything is physics and math. - Katherine Johnson

Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson

What Britain needs is an iron lady. - Margaret Thatcher

England is a nation of shopkeepers. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Algebra: Undergarment worn by female math teachers - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

England can never be ruined except by a Parliament. - Lord Burleigh

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Britain's goal is not to survive, but to prevail. - Winston Churchill

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

You only have to survive in England and all is forgiven you. - Alan Bennett

Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach

What Great Britain calls the Far East is to us the near north. - Robert Gordon Menzies

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

To eat well in England you should have breakfast three times a day. - W Somerset Maugham

Being rich is better than being poor, if only for financial reasons. - Woody Allen

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London. - Bette Midler

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if he wanted to be one? - Jackie Mason

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

The rich take life one financial year at a time. The poor take life one meal at a time. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

People always ask me, "Were you funny as a child?" Well, no, I was an accountant. - Ellen DeGeneres

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown

Diatribe: 1. An extinct race; 2. The group of native Brits that worship the late Princess Diana. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Oats: A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

In America, the policeman is a working-class hero. In England, the policeman is a working-class traitor. - Martin Amis

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

A good financial plan is a road map that shows us exactly how the choices we make today will affect our future. - Alexa Von Tobel

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

If it is good to have one foot in England, it is still better, or at least as good, to have the other out of it. - Henry James

We so often achieve success or financial independence after the chief reason for which we sought it has passed away. - Ellen Glasgow

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor

There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done. - Ronnie Corbett

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

I think what's going on with gorillas is pretty bad. The fact is that you can buy gorilla meat in London any day you want it. - Adam Ant

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

Finance functions lose the potential to steer their organizations to success when they defer performance management to other functions. - Jack Alexander

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin


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