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British Accountant

Catch 22: Hire an accountant or a mathematician?

British Accountant thanks to Bryan Harrap

QuotaBills
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley

Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson

What Britain needs is an iron lady. - Margaret Thatcher

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce

Women in London must have learned not to breathe. - Irene Trimble

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Britain's goal is not to survive, but to prevail. - Winston Churchill

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach

What Great Britain calls the Far East is to us the near north. - Robert Gordon Menzies

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

There'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood. - Bob Hope

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

Being rich is better than being poor, if only for financial reasons. - Woody Allen

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London. - Bette Midler

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if he wanted to be one? - Jackie Mason

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

The rich take life one financial year at a time. The poor take life one meal at a time. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

People always ask me, "Were you funny as a child?" Well, no, I was an accountant. - Ellen DeGeneres

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income. - George Bernard Shaw

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

Larry Gogan: 'With what town in Britain is Shakespeare associated?'
Contestant: 'Hamlet'. - Larry Gogan

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

A good financial plan is a road map that shows us exactly how the choices we make today will affect our future. - Alexa Von Tobel

If it is good to have one foot in England, it is still better, or at least as good, to have the other out of it. - Henry James

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Every street in London has a camera, and if you ever travel up the M4, it feels as if George Orwell should be your chauffeur. - Don McCullin

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

I think what's going on with gorillas is pretty bad. The fact is that you can buy gorilla meat in London any day you want it. - Adam Ant

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown


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