Buns For Guns

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

Never shoot more than you can eat. - Unknown

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? - Steven Wright

Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself. - Unknown

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best. - Oscar Wilde

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. - Jules de Gaultier

Fox hunting is the unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible. - Oscar Wilde

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? - Steven Wright

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? - George Carlin

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

You can figure out what the villain fears by his choice of weapons. - Connie Brockway

Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty daughters kill people. - Unknown

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award. - Billy Wilder

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world. - Nelson Mandela

It is much easier to imagine ghastly new biological weapons than to create them. - Andrew Pollack

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

Consultants are people who come down from the hill to shoot the wounded after the battle is over. - Doc Blakeley

A critic is someone who never actually goes to the battle, yet who afterwards comes out shooting the wounded. - Tyne Daly

I became hooked on the idea of being able to shoot an image and process it myself, and end up with a product. - Leonard Nimoy

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. - Albert Einstein

Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them. - Simon Wiesenthal

I was court-martialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan

The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible. - Donald Trump

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them toward the patient labors of peace. - Andre Gide

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim

When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan