#1 humor site on the 'net

Canadian Growth Chart

Hockey is the national sport of Canada, eh

Canadian Growth Chart thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Hockey is a tough game. - Bobby Orr

Canada was built on dead beavers. - Margaret Atwood

Canada and space are a natural fit. - Marc Garneau

Focus: What Canadian politicians lack. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn

Canada has always been there to help people who need it. - Justin Trudeau

Canada is a great country, one of the hopes of the world. - Jack Layton

Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party. - Craig Ferguson

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

Canada has never been a melting pot; more like a tossed salad. - Arnold Edinborough

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

Ninety percent of hockey is mental and the other half is physical. - Wayne Gretzky

For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey. - Jeff Garlin

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

Sometimes it just feels like the only thing you do is play hockey and eat. - Henrik Lundqvist

Canada is the only country founded on the relentless pursuit of the rodent. - Preston Manning

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland. - Donald Trump

I came from Canada, where it's freezing cold for seven months out of the year. - Rachelle Lefevre

I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was. - Joel Madden

I'm not a hockey fan, which is probably why I had to leave Canada in the first place. - Ryan Reynolds

South Africa is the most beautiful country I have been to. Canada is also hugely underrated. - Honor Blackman

Why is America the last best hope of Earth? What if it's Liechtenstein? Or, worse, Canada? - Sarah Vowell

Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials. - Mordecai Richler

I think the thing you always got to keep in mind, you know, hockey is a game of one-on-one battles. - Mark Messier

Field hockey is my strongest sport, and if I lose a game, I take a long, hot bath and moan about it. - Emma Watson

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonderful performers. - Jamie Farr

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell

Let me put it this way. Canada is not so much a country as a holding tank filled with the disgruntled progeny of defeated peoples. - Mordecai Richler

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

I found my prince - he's a hockey player and we met at an NHL event, the last place I'd ever expect to meet someone, but there he was. - Carol Alt

Playoff hockey is the best way to market your team. It's the best way to grow your fan base and give hope to your players and for them to develop. - Steve Yzerman


Open Door Policy... Almost

Force Field

Fire Destroyed

Steven Seagull

Downtown Speeding

Puffin Mouthful

Carbon Issues

Green Picnic Table

Trudeau's Top Fails

Bathtub Opulence

Anger Release Machine

Inbread Cat

Madness in London

Crotch Rocket

Too Late Sign

Smart Car Security

Motorcycle Texting

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Fresh Out Of The Saddle

Monsoon TV

Radio Shack Closes Down

DIRK

Karate Sign Kick

Evel Knievel Tickets