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Canadian Math

Disclaimer: hockey puck velocity may vary from rink to rink

Canadian Math thanks to Jerry VanHorne

In classical mechanics, linear momentum or translational momentum is the product of the mass and velocity of an object. In Canada, p=mv where p=puck, m=movement (as in towards an octopus), and v=velo city (in Newfoundland, eh)
QuotaBills
In Canada, things are very honest. - Jim Pattison

People on the streets are ready for hockey. - Eric Lindros

Theoretical physics is actually philosophy. - Max Born

I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn

All science is either physics or stamp collecting. - Ernest Rutherford

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

Mathematics is the science which uses easy words for hard ideas. - James Roy Newman

Ninety percent of hockey is mental and the other half is physical. - Wayne Gretzky

Increasingly, the mass marketing is turning into a mass of niches. - Chris Anderson

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Walking has been ridiculous in college basketball the past 15 years. - Bobby Knight

Canada is the only country founded on the relentless pursuit of the rodent. - Preston Manning

A rainbow is the product of physics working for your appreciation of beauty. - Kyle Hill

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

Mathematics consists of proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way. - George Polya

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game. - Jim Flaherty

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen

For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon

Let us grant that the pursuit of mathematics is a divine madness of the human spirit. - Alfred Whitehead

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

Canada is a good country to be from. It has a gentler slower pace - it lends perspective. - Paul Anka

I never looked at hockey as work. Now that I'd finished playing, I had to go to work. - Bobby Orr

Our team lives hockey, it dreams hockey, it eats hockey. Now if it could only play hockey. - Milton Berle

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

I like ice hockey. No one is ever going to ask me to write about that as a metaphor for life. - Steven Pinker

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. - Kurt Vonnegut

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

We can make fun of hockey fans, but someone who enjoys Homer is indulging the same kind of vicarious bloodlust. - Steven Pinker

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin

When I walk down the street in New York, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, "Hey, you hockey puck!" - Don Rickles

Playoff hockey is the best way to market your team. It's the best way to grow your fan base and give hope to your players and for them to develop. - Steve Yzerman


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