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Canadian Math

Disclaimer: hockey puck velocity may vary from rink to rink

Canadian Math thanks to Jerry VanHorne

In classical mechanics, linear momentum or translational momentum is the product of the mass and velocity of an object. In Canada, p=mv where p=puck, m=movement (as in towards an octopus), and v=velo city (in Newfoundland, eh)
QuotaBills
Hockey is a tough game. - Bobby Orr

Center Of Mass: The Priest - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was bitten by an octopus. - Ted Cruz

Canada was built on dead beavers. - Margaret Atwood

Theoretical physics is actually philosophy. - Max Born

I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost

Obvious: The most dangerous word in mathematics - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Pure mathematics is the poetry of logical ideas. - Albert Einstein

All science is either physics or stamp collecting. - Ernest Rutherford

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

Quantum physics thus reveals a basic oneness of the universe. - Erwin Schrodinger

Those who go to college and never get out are called professors. - George Givot

You have to know a man awfully well in Canada to know his surname. - John Buchan

I love Canadians because I don't see very much racism in Canada. - Patti LaBelle

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education. - Theodore Roosevelt

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

You can't play hockey with a bald spot, so I'm hanging up the skates. - Joe Sakic

If I look at the mass of people I will never act. If I look at the one, I will. - Mother Teresa

When God created the world, he didn't draw a line between Canada and America. - Marianne Williamson

As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland. - Donald Trump

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

I think every entrepreneur in Canada owes the next generation a road map of how to do it again. - Kevin O'Leary

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

You do not play hockey for good seasons. You play to win the Stanley Cup. It has to be the objective. - Guy Lafleur

Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonderful performers. - Jamie Farr

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor

The most important thing we learn at school is the fact that the most important things can't be learned at school. - Haruki Murakami

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right. - Jack Nicholson

Canada is a balloon-puncturing country. You are not really allowed to be an icon unless you also make an idiot of yourself. - Margaret Atwood

We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown


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