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Canadian Math

Disclaimer: hockey puck velocity may vary from rink to rink

Canadian Math thanks to Jerry VanHorne

In classical mechanics, linear momentum or translational momentum is the product of the mass and velocity of an object. In Canada, p=mv where p=puck, m=movement (as in towards an octopus), and v=velo city (in Newfoundland, eh)

QuotaBills
I was bitten by an octopus. - Ted Cruz

Everything is physics and math. - Katherine Johnson

In Canada, things are very honest. - Jim Pattison

Every day is a great day for hockey. - Mario Lemieux

Hockey is the original extreme sport. - Tom Ward

Hockey is figure skating in a war zone. - Unknown

Mathematics: the only subject that counts. - Unknown

Obvious: The most dangerous word in mathematics - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Canada has two emblems - the beaver and the maple. - John W. Dawson

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know. - Bill Watterson

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. - Robin Williams

I love Canadians because I don't see very much racism in Canada. - Patti LaBelle

I don't want to send them to jail. I want to send them to school. - Adlai Stevenson

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

My goal was to play in the NHL, because that is the best hockey in the world. - Jaromir Jagr

Physics is the only profession in which prophecy is not only accurate but routine. - Neil deGrasse Tyson

Canada is the only country in the world that knows how to live without an identity. - Marshall McLuhan

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made school boards. - Mark Twain

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

You do not play hockey for good seasons. You play to win the Stanley Cup. It has to be the objective. - Guy Lafleur

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

Speed Limit: The velocity one must exceed by approximately 10 MPH on a major highway or risk being run off the road - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonderful performers. - Jamie Farr

Canada's political parties spend a few years in opposition and then govern as if it's permanent payback time. - Bob Rae

The nice thing about being detained in Canada is it's like being in a Days Inn; it's very clean and very nice. - Bill Ayers

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

When it began, cubism was a sort of analysis, which was no more painting than the description of physical phenomena was physics. - Juan Gris

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

Let me put it this way. Canada is not so much a country as a holding tank filled with the disgruntled progeny of defeated peoples. - Mordecai Richler

I have a maple leaf tattoo over my heart, quite literally, and my two favorite things on Earth are being in Canada and making movies. - Jay Baruchel

In the real world, the smartest people are people who make mistakes and learn. In school, the smartest people don't make mistakes. - Robert T Kiyosaki

Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin

Mathematics began to seem too much like puzzle solving. Physics is puzzle solving, too, but of puzzles created by nature, not by the mind of man. - Maria G. Mayer

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen


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