Canadian Math
Disclaimer: hockey puck velocity may vary from rink to rink
In classical mechanics, linear momentum or translational momentum is the product of the mass and velocity of an object. In Canada, p=mv where p=puck, m=movement (as in towards an octopus), and v=velo city (in Newfoundland, eh)
QuotaBillsI was bitten by an octopus. - Ted Cruz
Everything is physics and math. - Katherine Johnson
In Canada, things are very honest. - Jim Pattison
Every day is a great day for hockey. - Mario Lemieux
Hockey is the original extreme sport. - Tom Ward
Hockey is figure skating in a war zone. - Unknown
Mathematics: the only subject that counts. - Unknown
Obvious: The most dangerous word in mathematics - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Canada has two emblems - the beaver and the maple. - John W. Dawson
I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know. - Bill Watterson
Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. - Robin Williams
I love Canadians because I don't see very much racism in Canada. - Patti LaBelle
I don't want to send them to jail. I want to send them to school. - Adlai Stevenson
My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel
My goal was to play in the NHL, because that is the best hockey in the world. - Jaromir Jagr
Physics is the only profession in which prophecy is not only accurate but routine. - Neil deGrasse Tyson
Canada is the only country in the world that knows how to live without an identity. - Marshall McLuhan
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made school boards. - Mark Twain
I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander
I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey
Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull
Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown
I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams
You do not play hockey for good seasons. You play to win the Stanley Cup. It has to be the objective. - Guy Lafleur
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen
For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus
Speed Limit: The velocity one must exceed by approximately 10 MPH on a major highway or risk being run off the road - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonderful performers. - Jamie Farr
Canada's political parties spend a few years in opposition and then govern as if it's permanent payback time. - Bob Rae
The nice thing about being detained in Canada is it's like being in a Days Inn; it's very clean and very nice. - Bill Ayers
My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas
When it began, cubism was a sort of analysis, which was no more painting than the description of physical phenomena was physics. - Juan Gris
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright
Let me put it this way. Canada is not so much a country as a holding tank filled with the disgruntled progeny of defeated peoples. - Mordecai Richler
I have a maple leaf tattoo over my heart, quite literally, and my two favorite things on Earth are being in Canada and making movies. - Jay Baruchel
In the real world, the smartest people are people who make mistakes and learn. In school, the smartest people don't make mistakes. - Robert T Kiyosaki
Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin
Mathematics began to seem too much like puzzle solving. Physics is puzzle solving, too, but of puzzles created by nature, not by the mind of man. - Maria G. Mayer
I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen