Canadian Speed Bumps

Unsafe at any speed. - Ralph Nader

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

OK, so what's the speed of dark? - Steven Wright

Goose Bumps: To keep geese from speeding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Speed is life. Altitude is life insurance. - Unknown

Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. - Homer

There is more to life than increasing its speed. - Mahatma Gandhi

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Walter Mondale has all the charisma of a speed bump. - Will Durst

I am not a speed reader.
I am a speed understander. - Isaac Asimov

Know your lines and don't bump into the furniture. - Spencer Tracy

Once you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed. - Charles M Shulz

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

When you're over the hill, that's when you pick up speed. - Quincy Jones

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Speed Limit: The velocity one must exceed by approximately 10 MPH on a major highway or risk being run off the road - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. - Woody Allen

I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. - Steven Wright

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com