QuotaBillsSave water - drink vodka. - Unknown
Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling
Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb
Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster
When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller
Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown
Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown
Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway
Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman
Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp
I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson
The fountain of youth is a mixture of gin and vermouth. - Cole Porter
Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley
Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown
One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin
Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII
I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson
Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany
Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns
I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields
Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz
Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung
When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson
There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid
I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie
Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown
When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster