#1 humor site on the 'net

Christmas Budget

Bubba's Christmas tree shrunk a little this year

Christmas Budget thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Cutting back on discretionary spending at year end

Christmas Budget thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
One Scent: The cost of a skunk - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

Good words are worth much, and cost little. - George Herbert

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart. - WC Fields

Experience teaches slowly, and at the cost of mistakes. - James A. Froude

Sometimes the cost of integrity is the loss of a friend. - Jack McDevitt

The cost of liberty is less than the price of repression. - W.E.B. Du Bois

I grew up working in Canada so everything was low budget. - Ellen Page

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it. - Henny Youngman

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

When a habit begins to cost money, it's called a hobby. - Jewish Proverb

Forgiveness is a gift of high value. Yet its cost is nothing. - Betty Smith

How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson

Spare no expense to make everything as economical as possible. - Samuel Goldwyn

Who recalls when folks got along without something if it cost too much? - Kin Hubbard

You cannot spend your way out of recession or borrow your way out of debt. - Daniel Hannan

I haven't heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

A sympathizer is a fellow that's for you as long as it doesn't cost anything. - Kin Hubbard

If you don't know who you are, the stock market is an expensive place to find out. - George Goodman

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The cost of praising someone is nil - but every psychological study shows the payoff is huge. - Harvey Mackay

One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

Personally this plan would cost me hundreds of millions of dollars, but in all honesty, it's worth it. - Donald Trump

Just keep hanging your steamers over there. You're the one who got me into this whole expensive party here. - Archie Bunker

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

To an entrepreneur, closing a financing often feels like the end of a marathon. It's actually the starting gun. - Andy Dunn

It cost God nothing, so far as we know, to create nice things: but to convert rebellious wills cost him crucifixion. - C S Lewis

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost. - James Thurber

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon


Hard Hat Safety

Water Coolant

Spray-On Clothing

Bright Bookshelf

Saddle Surprise

Politicians Be Like

Senior Aerobics

Foiled Again

Redneck Beer Hunter

Pair Produce

Potting Pot

Ice Cream Burqa

Dog Soother

Fourk

Women's Outhouse

Crocodile Floor

Hummer Carriage

Antler Switch Plate

Redneck Cotter Pin

Redneck Bulldozer

Your Fly Is Down

Chili Rub

Tire Rotation

Political Promise Hauler