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Christmas Sidecar

Harvesting a Christmas tree in the good old days

Christmas Sidecar thanks to Vera Densen

QuotaBills
Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

The perfect man? A poet on a motorcycle. - Lucinda Williams

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffett

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. - Unknown

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah


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