Cook Ring

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy. - James Goldsmith

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. - Billie Burke

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

I was going to marry a gardener, but he was too rough around the hedges. - Unknown

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong. - Muhammad Ali

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

In this year, King Aethelstan, Lord of Warriors, ring-giver to men... won eternal glory, in battle with sword edges, around Brunaburh. - Unknown

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner