Cook Ring

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

Bonjour, you cheese-eating surrender monkeys. - Groundskeeper Willie

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Worry is today's mice nibbling on tomorrow's cheese. - Unknown

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

I was going to marry a gardener, but he was too rough around the hedges. - Unknown

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf