QuotaBillsIn wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder
Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton
Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen
I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn
Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas
Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown
Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin
Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker
Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb
I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin
Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley
Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown
One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits
You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West
Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin
Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII
I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown
In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown
I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker
My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown
Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson
I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.
Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana
They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott
A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke
Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns
Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown