#1 humor site on the 'net

Cow Trampoline

Phyllis ruined it for everyone

Cow Trampoline thanks to Chet Miller

QuotaBills
In the dark, all cows are black. - German Proverb

Party honesty is party expediency. - Grover Cleveland

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party. - Proverb

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

Vice-President: A cow's fifth teat. - Harry S Truman

I want to be formal, but I'm here to party. - Unknown

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party. - Craig Ferguson

Honor is not the exclusive property of any political party. - Herbert Hoover

It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline. - Sid Waddell

Content is the party. Promotion is the invitation to attend. - Nathan Ellering

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

Stable: A command given to make a male cow remain in one place - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Contract: An agreement that is binding only on the weaker party. - Unknown

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

Memorial Service: Farewell party for someone who has already left. - Robert Byrne

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible

A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader. - Harry S Truman

Mankind has a free will; but it is free to milk cows and to build houses, nothing more. - Martin Luther

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety. - Abraham Maslow

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity. - Lauren Bacall

Individuality is either the mark of genius or the reverse. Mediocrity finds safety in standardization. - Frederick Crane

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

I met a man at a party. He said, "I'm writing a novel." I said, "Oh, really? Neither am I." - Peter Cook

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering, stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. - Dylan Moran

Many promising reconciliations have broken down because while both parties come prepared to forgive, neither party come prepared to be forgiven. - Charles Williams

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader


Restored Beauty

Powerplant Swimsuit Models

Watermelon Cake

Sharkini

Julyed

Filet Minion

Better Singer

Texas Basketball

Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake

Think Outside

Despicable Wood Stove

Engineering Flowchart

Egotist

Hunter's Dream Wedding

Paddy Field Canal

Grow A Boyfriend

Mars Images

Drumset Motorcycle

Brick Shoes

Custer's Last Stand?

Hand Held Tourist