#1 humor site on the 'net

Customers Wanted

How to attract consumers with do-it-yourself marketing

Customers Wanted thanks to Lou Rawls

Help Wanted signs where no experience necessary

QuotaBills
The only risk of failure is promotion. - Scott Adams

Experience teaches only the teachable. - Aldous Huxley

Advertising Executive: Yessir, nosir, ulcer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I suggest a new strategy, R2: let the Wookiee win. - C-3PO

The purpose of a business is to create a customer. - Peter F Drucker

Being frightened is an experience you can't buy. - Anthony Price

Making sushi is an art, and experience is everything. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

People will buy anything that's one to a customer. - Sinclair Lewis

Experience teaches slowly, and at the cost of mistakes. - James A. Froude

Food is not just eating energy. It's an experience. - Guy Fieri

Trouble brings experience, and experience brings wisdom. - Unknown

An optimist is simply a pessimist with no job experience. - Dilbert

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and advertise. - Ted Turner

He's got some grand strategy that he can't revulge. - Archie Bunker

Give them quality. That's the best kind of advertising. - Milton Hershey

Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely. - Auguste Rodin

War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it. - Desiderius Erasmus

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. - Dan Stanford

Increasingly, the mass marketing is turning into a mass of niches. - Chris Anderson

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. - Unknown

There is no black magic to successfully attracting customers via the Web. - Rand Fishkin

Experience is what allows us to repeat our mistakes, only with more finesse. - Derwood Fincher

Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn. - C S Lewis

Never, for the sake of peace and quiet, deny your own experience or convictions. - Dag Hammarskjold

Smartphones are reinventing the connection between companies and their customers. - Rich Miner

Advertising Agency: Eighty-five percent confusion and fifteen percent commission. - Fred Allen

Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment. - Rita Mae Brown

Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't. - Pete Seeger

Technology is the knack of so arranging the world that we don't have to experience it. - Max Frisch

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. - Greg King

All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous, unpremeditated act without benefit of experience. - Henry Miller

The value of another's experience is to give us hope, not to tell us how or whether to proceed. - Peter Block

You always buy familiar names, the ones you recognize; that's why the adman always claims it pays to advertise. - Unknown

Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. - Hal Borland

Once in a while it really hits people that they don't have to experience the world in the way they have been told to. - Alan Keightley

Within each of us, there is silence. A silence as vast as the universe. And when we experience that silence, we remember who we are. - Gunilla Norris

I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided; and that is the lamp of experience. I know of no way of judging the future but by the past. - Patrick Henry

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't need to advertise it. - Will Rogers

History will see advertising as one of the real evil things of our time. It is stimulating people constantly to want things, want this, want that. - Malcolm Muggeridge


Brief Case

Hairstyle Of The Year

Duck Heist - Ducks Gone Bad

Swan Heels

Windshield Defrogger

Side-Ways

Sonic Straw

Man At Work

Uncorked Wine

Double Handicap

Tetris Construction

Clorox Respirator

Our Aim

Truck Rest Stop

Romaine Empire

Hardworking Wife

What's That?

Long, Happy Marriage

Redneck iPad

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Microsoft Innovation

Mop Dog

Ventilated Bridge

Monkeying Around