#1 humor site on the 'net

Disk Drive

Taking a trip down memory lane

Disk Drive thanks to Mel Hoskins

Does your computer have enough memory to access this street?

QuotaBills
Love your enemy - it'll drive him nuts. - Unknown

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Every man's memory is his private literature. - Aldous Huxley

Pale ink is better than the most retentive memory. - Harvey Mackay

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us. - Oscar Wilde

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

If you tell the truth, you don't need a long memory. - Jesse Ventura

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. - Abraham Lincoln

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? - George Carlin

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience. - Doug Larson

The positive side to memory loss: you meet new people every day. - Unknown

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

One must have a good memory to be able to keep the promises one makes. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away. - Phyllis Diller

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

He is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts. - Richard Brinsley Sheridan

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

A memory is what is left when something happens and does not completely unhappen. - Edward de Bono

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win. - Roger Bannister

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

The middle of the road is where the white line is - and that's the worst place to drive. - Robert Frost

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. - Albert Einstein

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

The road to success is not easy to navigate, but with hard work, drive and passion, it's possible to achieve the American dream. - Tommy Hilfiger

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening, the third memory, the fourth practice, the fifth teaching others. - Solomon Ibn Gabriol

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Can I Lick It

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

Velociraptor Defined

Redneck Muffler Repair

Drama Queen Diary

He Looks Just Like His Father!

Happy Snow Car

Sand Strap Experience

Redneck Calf Feeder

BaCoN T-Shirt

Go Winterized

Car Igloo

Hen Pecked

It's Movie Time

In The Dog House

Diaper Change

Palestinian Security Check

Wurst-Case Scenario

High-Rise Inifinity Pool

Winter Kayaking

Balanced Family Life

Closed Ahead

Forgettable Fishing Trips