#1 humor site on the 'net

Dog Shampoo

Specialized formula provides nutrition for your dog's needs

Dog Shampoo thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Long on hair, sort on brains. - French Proverb

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo! - Steven Wright

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

An angry dog is best led by its tail. - Unknown

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

The drowning man grips to his own hair. - Greek Proverb

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

Wok The Dog: Specialty at Vietnamese Restaurants - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

He doesn't dye his hair, he bleaches his face. - Johnny Carson

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford

People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch. - Jack Nicholson

I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen. - Unknown

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Colliefornia: The American state that has gone to the dogs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

Experience is a comb life gives you after you lose your hair. - Judith Stern

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

If we growl all day we're likely to feel dog tired at night. - Amish Saying

I don't consider myself bald. I'm simply taller than my hair. - Tom Sharp

I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out. - Silvio Berlusconi

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. - Hillary Clinton

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less with baldness. - Cicero

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro


Spot the K-Mart Shopper

Designer Lamp

Long Winter

2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

New 50 Pence Coin

Truck Art

Redneck Chair Repair

Bus Head Rest

How Big Was It?

Islanders

Extra Weight

Snowgazers

Happy Australia Day!

Starting Your Fireplace On The Roof

Snow Prayers

Snowbaru

Mirror Image

Hurricane Protection

Spot the Thief

Firm Egg

Winter Chair

Storage Puzzle

Training Wheels

School Nap