Egg Flu

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

Hatchet: What a hen does to an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

He everywhere sought excuses for stirring up war. - Livy

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. - Samuel Butler

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Eggheads unite, you have nothing to lose but your yolks. - Adlai Stevenson

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

Irony: 1. Being witty at all costs; 2. A vegetarian catching swine flu. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

If everything is good in the henhouse yous don't have to go out for eggs. - Archie Bunker

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

Equine Influenza: A viral respiratory disease which causes flu-like symptoms in horses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket. - Evan Esar

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer