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Elf Safety

Santa's helpers now wear hard hats

Elf Safety thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Safety gone mad

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown

Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. - William Shakespeare

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. - Homer Simpson

The traveler with empty pockets pursues his journey in perfect safety. - Ovid

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Kyle Chandler

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

The purpose of life is to discover your gifts, and the meaning of life is to give them away. - Martin Seligman

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

Individuality is either the mark of genius or the reverse. Mediocrity finds safety in standardization. - Frederick Crane

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger


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