#1 humor site on the 'net

Empty Dogs

A guide about cleaning up after your dog

Empty Dogs thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Colic: A sheep dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

Hollow: An empty greeting - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz

Subwoofer: A dog who scuba dives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Southpaw: A dog who is left-handed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

A full mind is an empty baseball bat. - Branch Rickey

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

To err is human, for forgive, canine. - Unknown

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

The glass is half full, not half empty. - John Milton

Easy Chair: The hardest one to find empty. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

Our hope is as certain as Jesus's grave is empty. - Sam Allberry

If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

When one person is missing the whole world seems empty. - Pat Schweibert

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Colliefornia: The American state that has gone to the dogs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

Cavity: Empty space ready to be stuffed with dentist's bills. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

God sends no one away empty except those who are full of themselves. - Dwight L. Moody

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Thoughts without content are empty, intuitions without concepts are blind. - Immanuel Kant

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty. - Unknown

Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that. - Norman Vincent Peale

Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its troubles... it empties today of its strength. - Mary Englelbreit

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Some see the glass as half-empty, some see the glass as half-full. I see the glass as too big. - George Carlin

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

A man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. - Arthur Conan Doyle

It was like having a box of chocolates shut in the bedroom drawer. Until the box was empty it occupied the mind too much. - Graham Greene

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


Nose Siphoner

Prehistoric Flash Drive

Mouse Revenge

Young Who Suffer

Stray Cat

A Dog's Seeing Eye Dog

Forest Guardian

Sing It Out

UPS and DOWNS

Good Luck Angel

Hosanna in Excel Sheets

British Kingdom

Dance With Me

Mouse Trick

Black Friday Scam

Pianist's Challenge

Economy Flight

Diamond Ring TP

Water Transformer Hazard

Office Irony

Covid Vaccine Testing

The Hills Are Closed

Temperature Tax

Social Distancing Shoes