#1 humor site on the 'net

Florida Car Alarm

Looks like I'm not going home

Florida Car Alarm thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
See you later, alligator. After a while, crocodile. - Bill Haley

The Bunkers is going down to Florida as pre-deranged. - Archie Bunker

Between here and Florida, ya got your original 48 states. - Archie Bunker

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

I'm Southern, so alligator tail is pretty interesting and yummy. - LeAnn Rimes

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

Don't taunt the alligator until after you've crossed the creek. - Dan Rather

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile - hoping that it will eat him last. - Winston Churchill

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

Real joy seems to me almost as unlike security or prosperity as it is unlike agony. - C S Lewis

I spent most of my 20s with these alligator wrestlers in the swamps of South Florida. - Karen Russell

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot. - Phyllis Diller

Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket. - Groucho Marx

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman

People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham

Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill you and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. - Steve Irwin

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden


Biggest Fan On The Block

Senior's TV Tray

Potty 'Train'ing In India

A Woman Named Five Horses

Vegan Dentist

How To Conserve Gas

Rolling Shoes

How Twins Are Made

Cool Reading Room

Poor Lifetime

Be GarFul

Tooth Ferry

Ready For Rabbits

Ecosystem

Plumber's Night Light

Can I Lick The Bowl

Redneck Shelves

Google Classic

In Touch Today

Delicious Grief

Amplified Beer

How to Twerk at Work

$383.00 Paint Job

Wine Time Finally