Girlfriend Math

Marry money. - Max Shulman

He who marries for money earns it. - Hebrew Proverb

Math research is more like a marathon. - Terence Tao

I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Algebra: Undergarment worn by female math teachers - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fidelity bought with money can be overcome by money. - Seneca

Minutes are worth more than money. Spend them wisely. - Thomas P Murphy

When you ain't got no money, you gotta get an attitude. - Richard Pryor

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. - Fran Lebowitz

"Obvious" is the most dangerous word in mathematics. - Eric T. Bell

The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it. - Jay Leno

Those who go to college and never get out are called professors. - George Givot

A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on. - Kin Hubbard

The more money an American accumulates, the less interesting he becomes. - Gore Vidal

Money can't buy happiness, but it helps you look for it in more places. - Milton Berle

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you’re making too much money. - Robin Williams

Borrowed thoughts, like borrowed money, only show the poverty of the borrower. - Lady Marguerite Blessington

If we were interested in making money, we wouldn’t have become teachers. - Robin Williams

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

The first rule is not to lose money. The second rule is not to forget the first rule. - Warren Buffett

With money in your pocket, you are wise and you are handsome - and you sing well too. - Yiddish Proverb

Money and success don't change people; they merely amplify what is already there. - Will Smith

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Albert Einstein

Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is, I don't know which half. - John Wannamaker

In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman

If I feel unhappy, I do mathematics to become happy. If I am happy, I do mathematics to keep happy. - Alfred Renyi

The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money. - Marlon Brando

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work. - Ogden Nash

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life there is no such thing as algebra. - Fran Lebowitz

Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talking about nor whether what is said is true. - Bertrand Russell

We women know how to take care of everybody so well. But the one person we have written out of the equation is us. - Suze Orman

Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla. - Jim Bishop

My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them. - Steven Wright

I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield

Modern poets talk against business, poor things, but all of us write for money. Beginners are subjected to trial by market. - Robert Frost

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com