#1 humor site on the 'net

Glass Prescription

My Doctor says I need glasses

Glass Prescription thanks to Karen Moore

Ophthalmologist or Optometrist?

Optometrists are primary health providers for normal vision problems and yearly checkups. The position requires a Doctor of Optometry degree and a license, and allows the diagnosing for common vision acuity problems like farsightedness and nearsightedness, prescribing corrective eyeglasses, contact lenses, dispensing and prescription of certain medication, plus testing for eye diseases and conditions.

Ophthalmologists perform the same functions as optometrists, but are considered a higher position since they are medical doctors with Doctors of Medicine, or Doctors of Osteopathic Medicine degrees who specialize in the eyes and vision care. An ophthalmologist can diagnose and treat highly complicated eyes issues, can perform surgeries (i.e. Lasik and retinal damage repair), and work with specific cases in vision care. The main difference between the two eye-related careers is that an ophthalmologist can handle surgeries and other issues that require more training on the medical side.

A sommelier (or wine steward) is a trained wine professional, working in fine restaurants, who specializes in all aspects of wine service as well as wine and food pairing. The role is much more specialized and informed than that of a wine waiter: In fine dining today the role is strategically on a par with that of the executive chef or chef de cuisine. Most sommeliers are good friends of the Joe-kster.

QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Good wine is a necessity of life. - Thomas Jefferson

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb

That one kind of grapes on my nerves. - Archie Bunker

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes. - William Shakespeare

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp

When the problem is worry, the prescription is prayer. - David Jeremiah

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

Impotience: Eager anticipation by men awaiting their Viagra prescription - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

Nurses dispense comfort, compassion, and caring without even a prescription. - Val Saintsbury

Some wines improve with age, but only if the grapes were good in the first place. - Abigail Van Buren

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. - Steven Wright

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie


Tree Removal

Happy Billionaire Halloween

Almost Done

Halloween Transformers

Latte Defined

Bush Zombie

Clean Windows Are Highly Over-rated

Cutting Off Board

Eat Your Dinner!

Hormone Guide

Gun Laws

Pumpkin-Themed Baby Announcement

Wolfermelon

Car Axident

Centipede Pumpkin

Hiding Horse

How To Enjoy Pumpkin Beer

Bourbon Shampoo

Goat Bike

Food Art

Rednecks At Play

She's A Keeper

Algebra Relationship

Pumpkin Races