#1 humor site on the 'net

Go Winterized

Stop and Go on winter roads

Go Winterized thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Head Cold: Rheum service - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ice Cream: What I do when scared - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I always wake up at the crack of ice. - Joe E Lewis

Raw lobster tail, freeze dried, is amazing. - Nathan Myhrvold

Never underestimate the value of cold cash. - Gregory Nunn

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

Room service - don't send up any more ice. - WC Fields

Hot heads and cold hearts never solved anything. - Billy Graham

Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

A book must be the ax for the frozen sea within us. - Franz Kafka

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

Was the ground cold when you crawled out this morning? - Henny Youngman

What good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness? - John Steinbeck

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We are cold to others only when we are dull in ourselves. - William Hazlitt

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. - Martin Mull

Sadness is more or less like a head cold - with patience, it passes. - Barbara Kingsolver

If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a leader. Sell ice cream. - Steve Jobs

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Grantartica: The cold, isolated place where art companies dwell without funding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I came from Canada, where it's freezing cold for seven months out of the year. - Rachelle Lefevre

A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends. - Kin Hubbard

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. - Jim Fiebig

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

Iceomaniac: One who has to go out of their way to step on thin ice to hear a satisfying crunching sound - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. - Robin Williams

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow. - Alice M Swaim

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky


Aussie Boat Ride

One Slice

Water Street

Hungry Tree

Dashing Name

Donut Holes

Dog Wash

Piano Dress

Hazards of Nose Picking

Mandela Perspective

I Want It All

Squid Squash

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Portrait Gallery

Boot Dog

Laundry Done

Rabbit Boost

Coke's Special Ingredients

Nanosecond Moments

Giraffic Park

Wine Karaoke

Other Door

Mistake Variations

Yoga Wine