Good Driver

Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb

Stardom isn't a profession, it's an accident. - Lauren Bacall

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? - Dylan Moran

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz