#1 humor site on the 'net

Google Ice Skating

Ice skating around the Google-sphere

Google Ice Skating thanks to Mel Hardman

Skating on thin ice

Is the ice strong enough to support them?

QuotaBills
Ice Cream: What I do when scared - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I always wake up at the crack of ice. - Joe E Lewis

Hockey is figure skating in a war zone. - Unknown

Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Room service - don't send up any more ice. - WC Fields

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Without ice cream there would be darkness and chaos. - Don Kardong

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. - Martin Mull

I skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it's been. - Wayne Gretzky

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

Life is too short to eat vanilla ice cream and dance with boring men. - Unknown

Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs. - Bill Murray

If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a leader. Sell ice cream. - Steve Jobs

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

When it gets hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my undies in the ice box. - Marilyn Monroe

Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me. You're amazing. - Unknown

Google+ is the gym of social networking: we all join, but nobody actually uses it. - Unknown

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

I like ice hockey. No one is ever going to ask me to write about that as a metaphor for life. - Steven Pinker

A statistician can have his head in the oven and his feet in ice, and on average he feels fine. - Unknown

Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. - Jim Fiebig

I look at Google and think they have a strong academic culture. Elegant solutions to complex problems. - Mark Zuckerberg

Iceomaniac: One who has to go out of their way to step on thin ice to hear a satisfying crunching sound - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. - Robin Williams

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

Facebook is in a very different place than Apple, Google, Amazon, Samsung, and Microsoft. We are trying to build a community. - Mark Zuckerberg

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky

Style is that which indicates how the writer takes himself and what he is saying. It is the mind skating circles around itself as it moves forward. - Robert Frost


Baby Hatching

Piglet Hubs

Hummers Only Look Tough

Lego Steps

SpaghettiOh Face

Cute Puppy

Slim People Bathroom

Leaning Tower Of Pisa Dog

Love It

Auto Strap

Victorian Bathing Machine

Stork Exhaust

Slap Me Into Next Year

Is This Really Happening?!

Ostrich Bush

Frozen Fish Meal

Bacon Wrapped Onion Rings

T-Rex Shadow

Camel Parking

Cheat of the Year

Born To Be Wild

Why I Wear 2 Masks

Welfare State

Redneck Wedding Cake