'I would like to file a complaint about a bottle of hair conditioner I bought from your store...'
QuotaBillsA wig is a wig is a wig. - Billy Zane
Never ask the barber if you need a haircut. - Warren Buffett
A hair on the head is worth two on the brush. - Oliver Herford
A hair in the head is worth two in the brush. - Oliver Herford
He doesn't dye his hair, he bleaches his face. - Johnny Carson
Every day People straighten up the hair, why not the heart? - Ernesto Guevara
Let the wind blow through your hair while you still have some. - Dave Weinbaum
I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd
He doesn't dye his hair, he's just prematurely orange. - Gerald Ford
Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. - P G Wodehouse
I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out. - Silvio Berlusconi
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? - Lily Tomlin
I used to think I'd like less grey hair. Now I'd like more of it. - Richie Benaud
The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell
I don't want a wig that looks like a wig; I want one that could pass for a weave. - Nicki Minaj
As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen
A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin
I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader
I can't disguise myself with a wig and dark glasses - the wheelchair gives me away. - Stephen Hawking
If you wear a wig, everybody notices. But if you then dye the wig, people notice the dye. - Andy Warhol
Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock
For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson
I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere
I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan
I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. - Tom Lenk
It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less with baldness. - Cicero
Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. - Khalil Gibran
Many of us are at the 'metallic' age - gold in our teeth, silver in our hair, and lead in our pants. - Unknown
Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby
I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz
You really just want to know that somebody loves you for you. Sometimes you feel like an ATM machine with a wig on it. - Mariah Carey
Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde
Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower. - Elayne Boosler
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing
I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria
You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb
You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world, and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull my hair out by the roots. - Sharon Stone
Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor
His mind is concrete and fastidious,
His nose is remarkably big;
His visage is more or less hideous,
His beard it resembles a wig. - Edward Lear
When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro