#1 humor site on the 'net

Holy Bagel

Latest in Israel cuisine - Kosher bagels

Holy Bagel thanks to Roy Turkington

QuotaBills
Let them eat cake. - Marie Antoinette

Abstain from beans. - Pythagoras

Photographing a cake can be art. - Irving Penn

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie


Make Loaf Not War

Topping The Charts

Passageway

Wet Suit Danger

Shopping With Grandma

Colorectal Exam For Dogs

Suitcase Recycling

1941 PTO Portable Sawmill

Leaky Pipes

Camel Photobomb

Teabucks

Diabetes Donation

Garmin Drive

CreepEye

Sleeping Guests

Unknown Assailant

Undergarment Financing

Shear Dog

Open For Business

This Rocks

Lifting Heavy Objects

Tomato Treat

Wrong Planet

Evaluating Something