#1 humor site on the 'net

Holy Bagel

Latest in Israel cuisine - Kosher bagels

Holy Bagel thanks to Roy Turkington

QuotaBills
Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

A party without cake is just a meeting. - Julia Child

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison

Writing is only the frosting on my cake. I'm whole without it. - Tabitha King

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie


Facebook Closure

African Meal on Wheels

Hadoukens

Free Gas

Wannabe Shoplifter

Breaker Bypass

Ice Hand

Invisible Homeless Man

No Muff Too Tough

Safe Removals

Yoga Business Card

Segway in Rural Norway

Mom Lookout

Dog Diner

It's Too Cold To Ride Outside

Ye Olde Simple Simon

High Tensile Snow

Target Entry

Squirrel Feeder Trap

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Florida Sewer Rat

Crane Drop

Special Touch

Muscle Control