How To Steal An Election

Politics have no relation to morals. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Voters want a fraud they can believe in. - Will Durst

Every country has the government it deserves. - Joseph de Maistre

Talk is cheap... except when Congress does it. - Unknown

From politics, it was an easy step to silence. - Jane Austen

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts. - Henry Brooks Adams

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

Turn on to politics, or politics will turn on you. - Ralph Nader

If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison

The Golden Rule has no place in a political campaign. - John J Ingalls

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

Self-government won't work without self-discipline. - Paul Harvey

Government cannot and must not replace private initiative. - Kim Campbell

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. - George Jean Nathan

Honor is not the exclusive property of any political party. - Herbert Hoover

An honest politician is one who when he's bought stays bought. - Simon Cameron

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. - Bob Wells

Bad politicians are sent to Washington by good people who don't vote. - William E. Simon

To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government. - Mark Twain

A filmmaker we almost lost to politics... my friend and colleague, Warren Beatty. - Jack Nicholson

Whenever a fellow tells me he's bipartisan, I know he's going to vote against me. - Harry S Truman

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. - Doug Larson

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself. - Mark Twain

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

Politics: Poli, a Latin word meaning "many"; and tics, meaning "bloodsucking creatures." - Robin Williams

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. - H L Mencken

They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. - Clare Boothe Luce

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

In politics it is necessary either to betray one's country or the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate. - Charles de Gaulle

He is one of those wise philanthropists who, in a time of famine, would vote for nothing but a supply of toothpicks. - Douglas Jerrold

It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Every country must be absolutely free to adopt the type of economic, political and social system that it considers convenient. - Fidel Castro

It was revealed in a government survey published today that the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men, Laurel and Hardy. - Ronnie Corbett

Judge: 1. A law student who marks his own examination papers; 2. A lawyer who once knew a politician; 3. A man in a trying position. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Politicians also have no leisure, because they are always aiming at something beyond political life itself, power and glory, or happiness. - Aristotle

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock