How To Steal An Election

All politics is local. - Thomas P O'Neil

Vote early and vote often. - Al Capone

All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

A week is a long time in politics. - Harold Wilson

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

In politics the middle way is none at all. - John Adams

Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama

All government, of course, is against liberty. - H L Mencken

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

The problem with political jokes is they get elected. - Henry Cate, VII

If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison

An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. - Mark Twain

Voters don't decide issues, they decide who will decide issues. - George Will

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I'd be honest. - Rodney Dangerfield

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. - Tex Guinan

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

A good politician, under democracy, is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. - H L Mencken

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

Idealism is the noble toga that political gentlemen drape over their will to power. - Aldous Huxley

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. - Woody Allen

He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

Folks who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign. - Milton Berle

The man who can make others laugh secures more votes for a measure than the man who forces them to think. - Malcolm de Chazal

I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses. - Victor Hugo

The largest party in America is neither the Democrats nor the Republicans. It's the party of non-voters. - Robert Reich

Idealism is like a castle in the air if it is not based on a solid foundation of social and political realism. - Claude McKay

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy. - Kin Hubbard

Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under blackshirt government. - Lord Rothermere

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. - Groucho Marx

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald

The most dangerous person of the world is a member of the United States Congress just home from a three-day fact-finding trip. - Johnny Isakson

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

Politicians also have no leisure, because they are always aiming at something beyond political life itself, power and glory, or happiness. - Aristotle

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien