How To Steal An Election

All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

Politics makes strange red-fellows. - Will Rogers

Every country has the government it deserves. - Joseph de Maistre

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

I'm not a politician. I've only got one face. - Brendan Behan

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. - George Jean Nathan

We live in a world in which politics has replaced philosophy. - Martin L. Gross

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

A politician will do anything to keep his job - even become a patriot. - William Randolph

Ultimatum: In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

Bad politicians are sent to Washington by good people who don't vote. - William E. Simon

Vote for the man who promises least; he'll be the least disappointing. - Bernard Baruch

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

American Politics: A form of socialism for the rich, including the politicians. - Gregory Nunn

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. - Tom Robbins

Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. - Woody Allen

I am on your Walk of Fame in Toronto. My sense of humour is Canadian. But I can't vote. - Donald Sutherland

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary? - Marion Barry

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it. - Tom Robbins

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

Politics: Poli, a Latin word meaning "many"; and tics, meaning "bloodsucking creatures." - Robin Williams

The largest party in America is neither the Democrats nor the Republicans. It's the party of non-voters. - Robert Reich

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

Harold MacMillan is a very intelligent man, who, as so often happens in politics, achieved supreme power too late. - Malcolm Muggeridge

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy. - Kin Hubbard

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads. - Andy Borowitz

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader