Into Fitness - Part I

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Reform: To gain or lose weight - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown

Happiness is equilibrium. Shift your weight. - Tom Stoppard

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

Why y'all duded up lookin' like Errol Slim? - Archie Bunker

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason

Finally my winter fat is done. Now I have spring rolls. - Unknown

Love is or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

I'm into fitness: Fit'ness whole donut in my mouth. - Unknown

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

I find there is only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60. - Jack Nicholson

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Every single diet I ever fell off of was because of potatoes and gravy of some sort. - Dolly Parton

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

In neighborhoods without a usable park or playground, the incidence of childhood obesity increases by 29 percent. - Darell Hammond

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. - Bertrand Russell

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia. - Jimmy Fallon

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock