iPood

Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Ballroom: A nursery for crying babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was with book, as a woman is with child. - C S Lewis

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

It takes an entire village to raise a child. - African Proverb

Howling Success: The baby that gets picked up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Implement: Mischievous child's garden tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Distinct: How a child says something smelled bad. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer. - Unknown

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

I look in the mirror through the eyes of the child that was me. - Judy Collins

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. - Bruce Barton

There is never a problem child; there is only a problem parent. - A.S. Neill

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

I'm contributing to the, waddya call, on the loosincy of a child. - Archie Bunker

When I was a child what I wanted to be when I grew up was an invalid. - Quentin Crisp

Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action. - Benjamin Disraeli

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

There's only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. - English Proverb

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. - Thomas Paine

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Unknown

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things. - Plato

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. - Stacia Tauscher

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. - Dave Barry

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sprouts: Innocent green plants snatched in their infancy and devoured alive by ravenous vegetarians - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A library should be the delivery room for the birth of ideas - a place where history comes to life. - Norman Cousins

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

It is an act of love to say, "I believe in you as my child, and you don't need my help." - Peter Buffett

Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child as it is to the caterpillar. - Bradley Miller

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

Every child should have an occasional pat on the back as long as it is applied low enough and hard enough. - Bishop Fulton J. Sheen

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

The legacy I want to leave is a child-care system that says no kid is going to be left alone or left unsafe. - Marian Wright Edelman

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley

The only way we can ever teach a child to say "I'm sorry" is for him to hear it from our lips first. - Kevin Leman

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato

Every time a child says, "I don't believe in fairies," there is a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead. - Sir James M. Barrie

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

I was forced to live far beyond my years when just a child, now I have reversed the order and I intend to remain young indefinitely. - Mary Pickford

It takes someone really brave to be a mother, someone strong to raise a child, and someone special to love someone more than herself. - Unknown

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

The heart of who I am as a person and as a man is forgiveness, after forgiving my father for a lot of things that were done when I was a child. - Tyler Perry

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik

Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again. - Dag Hammarskjold

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds