Keep The Han in Hanukkah

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

Good Anakin. Good. Kill him. Kill him now. - Chancellor Palpatine

All men are Jews, except they don't know it. - Bernard Malamud

It is the empty space which makes the room useful. - Lao-tzu

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering. - Milton Berle

Space is almost infinite. As a matter of fact, we think it is infinite. - Dan Quayle

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan

The dinosaurs became extinct because they didn't have a space program. - Larry Niven

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

Just be yourself, and hopefully they can shape an epic space adventure around exactly who you are. - Chris Pratt

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies. - Milton Berle

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw

Oh my. Space travel sounds rather perilous. I can assure you they will never get me on one of those dreadful Star Ships. - C-3PO

The really wonderful thing that happened to me when I was in space was this feeling of belonging to the entire universe. - Mae Jemison

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space. - Marilyn Monroe

The space in a needle's eye is sufficient for two friends, but the whole world is scarcely big enough to hold two enemies. - Solomon Ibn Gabirol

You live in the image you have of the world. Every one of us lives in a different world, with different space and different time. - Alejandro Jodorowsky

The world, the race, the soul - in space and time the universes,
All bound as is befitting each - all surely going somewhere. - Walt Whitman

It goes back to Christianity's affiliation with Judaism as Passover. Easter is as important to Christians as Passover is to the Jews. - Glenn Duffy

Throw your dream into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back: a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country. - Anais Nin

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman