#1 humor site on the 'net

Krispy Kreme Waffles

How to flatten doughnut calories

Krispy Kreme Waffles thanks to Grace Branson

Your last binge before going on a diet

Bubba goes on a Donut Diet
QuotaBills
Donut give up. - Homer Simpson

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Abs are great, but have you tried donuts? - Unknown

My head says gym, but my heart says donuts. - Unknown

Donuts - is there anything they can't do? - Homer Simpson

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz

I've probably tried every fad diet in the world. - Jenna Ushkowitz

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. - Erma Bombeck

Leave off all thin potations and addict thyself to sack. - William Shakespeare

I don't trust any diet that doesn't allow sugar. - Bethenny Frankel

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

Love is or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

The first couple of days on the detox diet aren't pleasant. - Carol Vorderman

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving

Every single diet I ever fell off of was because of potatoes and gravy of some sort. - Dolly Parton

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

Reading a good book in silence is like eating chocolate for the rest of your life and never getting fat. - Becca Fitzpatrick

Art is made to disturb. Science reassures. There is only one valuable thin in art: the thing you cannot explain. - Georges Braque

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Living in China has made me appreciate my own country, with its tiny, ethnically diverse population of unassuming donut-eaters. - Jan Wong

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers


Idling Eric Idle

Glass World - Where Plumbers Buy

High Heel Diver

Rising To The Occasion

Annual Meeting of the Ontario Summer Tires Club

I See You

Get Off Your High Horse

Redneck Towing

Revenge of the Stallion

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Rat Cut

Spot the Hidden Barred Owl

Smoking Hot Body

Billy the Eagle Owl

Star Wars Fisherman

The Devil's Swimming Pool

Pet Dentist

Nuts And Fruitcakes

Spiral Staircase

Scubaru

Nordern Minnesota Yeneral Store

Pigeon Drink

Epic Turban

Healthy Breakfast