#1 humor site on the 'net

Krispy Kreme Waffles

How to flatten doughnut calories

Krispy Kreme Waffles thanks to Grace Branson

Your last binge before going on a diet

Bubba goes on a Donut Diet
QuotaBills
But first, donuts. - Unknown

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The dieting wars have got to stop. - Lady Gaga

Mine is the least fat diet in the world. - Pierre Dukan

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz

We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller

The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. - Unknown

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

The only thin a boyfriend was good for was a shattered heart. - Becca Fitzpatrick

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

Some people aren't good at anything. Some people just really like donuts. - Lisa Graff

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60. - Jack Nicholson

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma

In Japan, animation is a big part of your media diet. I moved out to Los Angeles at 9, and when I got homesick, I would watch anime. - Hiro Murai

I'm off the diet, but not the treadmill. I speak as someone who's attempted to lose weight and get fit thrice before in my life. - Ronnie Screwvala

My daily diet consists of basically anything I think looks tasty, whether that's pizza, sushi, burgers, quesadillas. I like everything. - Cameron Dallas

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward


Puzzle Makers

Fishing Dog

Twins' First Piano Lesson

Black Sheep Friday

Black Friday Scam

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Aussie Gazpacho

Too Much Turkey

Best Friend Theft

Baconurkey

Biggest Turkeys

Turkey Day Selfie

Redneck Turkey Shoot

Grandma's Beautiful Pies

Going Cold Turkey

Run, Turkey, Run

Carving The Turkey

Thanksgiving Harvest Time

Turkey Wants You To Eat Pork

Nintendo Motor

Responsible Hi-Tech Redneck

GoosePrints

Stairway Roots

I Love Thanksgiving