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Legal Exhibit

How to avoid an expensive, protractive court battle

Legal Exhibit thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Legalese 101 for every lawyer

QuotaBills
The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow

Justice delayed is justice denied. - William Gladstone

Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas

Useless laws weaken necessary laws. - Charles de Secondat

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

Lawyers are the jackals of commerce. - Elbert Hubbard

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Lawyers are fleas on the hide of human nature. - Stephen King

Where there's a will there's a lawsuit. - Addison Mizner

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

Lawyers are in the business of advocacy, not judgment. - Allan C Hutchinson

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

Good lawyers know the law. Great lawyers know the judge. - Unknown

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

Sometimes justice is at its most merciful when it's blind. - Nancy Gibbs

My photographs don't do me justice – they just look like me. - Phyllis Diller

I think we may class the lawyer in the natural history of monsters. - John Keats

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

A society that has more justice is a society that needs less charity. - Ralph Nader

Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson

All the honesty in the world ain't legal tender for a loaf of bread. - Josh Billings

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. - Hebrews 11:1

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Washington, D.C.: Where the criminals cover their crimes by making them legal. - Frank Dane

People who use lawyers are not people you would really want to hang around with. - Deborah Ross

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. - Homer Simpson

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

A lawyer is a gentleman that rescues your estate from your enemies and then keeps it to himself. - Henry P Brougham

Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

We lawyers learn to study the faces of our witnesses, to form quick judgments, and to act upon them. - Lyman Abbott

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

Do not mind anything that anyone tells you about anyone else. Judge everyone and everything for yourself. - Henry James

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

There is one kind of robber whom the law does not strike at, and who steals what is most precious to men: time. - Napoleon Bonaparte

The hope of a secure and livable world lies with disciplined nonconformists who are dedicated to justice, peace and brotherhood. - Martin Luther King Jr.

The great trial lawyers are the ones who help their jurors by providing them with the tools with which to reach the right verdict. - G Christopher Ritter

Judge: 1. A law student who marks his own examination papers; 2. A lawyer who once knew a politician; 3. A man in a trying position. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright


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