#1 humor site on the 'net

Lo Rider Parking

How to avoid toll booths

Lo Rider Parking thanks to Laura Tennant

QuotaBills
I do my very best to avoid shark fin. - Anthony Bourdain

Broom parking only; all others will be toad. - Unknown

To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. - Elbert Hubbard

I you want to avoid battles, stay out of the grassy areas. - Pokemon

The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. - Dale Carnegie

The way to avoid roadblocks to learning is to ask questions. - Joseph J. Thomas

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. - Will Rogers

A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it. - Jean de La Fontaine

I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward. - Charlotte Brontë

The avoidance of taxes is the only pursuit that still carries any reward. - John Maynard Keynes

Surround yourself with positive people and situations, and avoid negativity. - Doreen Virtue

Fitness needs to be perceived as fun and games or we subconsciously avoid it. - Alan Thicke

People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own soul. - Carl Jung

It's not the bulls or the bears you need to avoid, it's the bum steers. - Chuck Hillis

There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. - Aristotle

If they want peace, nations should avoid the pin-pricks that precede cannon-shots. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Lawyers are operators of toll bridges which anyone in search of justice must pass. - Jane Bryant Quinn

Birds find shelter during the rain, but eagles avoid rain by flying above the clouds. - Abdul Kalam

The more you learn about the dignity of the gorilla, the more you want to avoid people. - Dian Fossey

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

There ain't no man can avoid being born average. But there ain't no man got to be common. - Satchel Paige

Some people use one half their ingenuity to get into debt, and the other half to avoid paying it. - George D Prentice

Never let life's hardships disturb you... no one can avoid problems, not even saints or sages. - Nichiren Daishonen

Humility before the flower at the timber line is the gate which gives access to the path up the open fell. - Dag Hammarskjold

To avoid an occasion for our virtues is a worse degree of failure than to push forward pluckily and make a fall. - Robert Louis Stevenson

One of the endearing things about mathematicians is the extent to which they will go to avoid doing any real work. - Matthew Pordage

Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing. - Denis Waitley

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

The very things we wish to avoid, neglect and flee from turn out to be the 'prima materia' from which all real growth comes. - Andrew Harvey

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

The trials in our lives are valuable lessons and those lessons can be used to avoid similar situations in the future or even help someone else. - Neviesh Perry

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

Success in creating AI would be the biggest event in human history. Unfortunately, it might also be the last, unless we learn how to avoid the risks. - Stephen Hawking

A "no" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a "yes" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble. - Mahatma Gandhi

Giving yourself the privilege of destroying other positions while parking your own position in an unidentifiable location is a form of linguistic terrorism. - Ravi Zacharias

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. - Steve Jobs

One should respect public opinion insofar as is necessary to avoid starvation and keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny. - Bertrand Russell

It is difficult for men in high office to avoid the malady of self-delusion. They are always surrounded by worshippers. They are constantly, and for the most part sincerely, assured of their greatness. - Calvin Coolidge

If you cannot avoid a quarrel with a blackguard, let your lawyer manage it, rather than yourself. No man sweeps his own chimney, but employs a chimney-sweeper, who has no objection to dirty work, because it is his trade. - Charles C Colton

We are motivated more by aversion to the unpleasant than by a will toward truth, freedom, or healing. We are constantly attempting to escape our life, to avoid rather than enter our pain we, and we wonder why it is so difficult to be fully alive. - Stephen Levine


Mask Not Your Country

Sun Protection

Multi-Motor Motorcycle

Your In America

Mexican Repair Shop

You're CuTe

Don't Be A Stick In The Mud

Wake Up Alarm

Mr. Dressup II

Gangsta

Tiring Tire

Redneck Rolling Bottle Sprinkler

Transmission Line Parallel Bars

Water Skiing in Russia

Why Men Shouldn't Take Messages

Spot the Snow Leopard

Open Too Long

Rap Is Like Scissors

Ball Bait

Deluxe Peanut Butter Jam Sandwich

Topping The Charts

Ring Leader

Edible Rubik's Cube

If Apple Made A Car