#1 humor site on the 'net

Lucky Calf

Every day she faced seven as her lucky number

Lucky Calf thanks to Gwen Enock

QuotaBills
Fife: Two before seven. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Luck never gives; it only lends. - Swedish Proverb

Fall seven times, stand up eight. - Japanese Proverb

A new-born calf fears not the tiger. - Unknown

Luck is preparation meeting opportunity. - Oprah Winfrey

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Everybody has to be a little lucky, I think. - Christopher Walken

Seven days without chocolate makes one weak. - Unknown

Well-trained reflexes are quicker than luck. - Unknown

Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

The only sure thing about luck is that it will change. - Wilson Mizner

Just tell yourself, Duckie, you're really quite lucky! - Dr. Seuss

Stable: A command given to make a male cow remain in one place - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky? - Stanislaw J. Lec

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Rodney Dangerfield

I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you dislike? - Jean Cocteau

Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. - Woody Allen

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

Those who have succeeded at anything and don't mention luck are kidding themselves. - Larry King

You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk? - Dirty Harry

I'm just a lucky slob from Ohio who happened to be in the right place at the right time. - Clark Gable

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like? - Jean Cocteau

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't. - Patrick Murray

Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind. Listen to the birds. And don't hate nobody. - Eubie Blake

Like a camel, I can go without a drink for seven days - and have on several horrible occasions. - Herb Caen

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

There are only three colors, ten digits, and seven notes; it's what we do with them that's important. - Ruth Ross

Fisherman: A sportsman, who sometimes catches a big fish by patience, sometimes by luck, but most often by the tale - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender. - WC Fields

For a long time now I have tried simply to write the best I can. Sometimes I have good luck and write better than I can. - Ernest Hemingway

Love is like an earthquake - unpredictable, a little scary, but when the hard part is over you realize how lucky you truly are. - Unknown

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

The only thing that I have done that is not mitigated by luck, diminished by good fortune, is that I persisted, and other people gave up. - Harrison Ford

I was just so lucky with 'Real Women Have Curves.' At that point, I would have done an insurance commercial. I would have done anything. - America Ferrera


Redneck NASCAR Astronaut

Valium Latte

Tree Removal

Happy Billionaire Halloween

Almost Done

Halloween Transformers

Latte Defined

Bush Zombie

Clean Windows Are Highly Over-rated

Cutting Off Board

Eat Your Dinner!

Hormone Guide

Gun Laws

Pumpkin-Themed Baby Announcement

Wolfermelon

Car Axident

Centipede Pumpkin

Hiding Horse

How To Enjoy Pumpkin Beer

Bourbon Shampoo

Goat Bike

Food Art

Rednecks At Play

She's A Keeper