Moonshiners

In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder

Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Good wine is a necessity of life. - Thomas Jefferson

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Humanity is just a virus with shoes. - Bill Hicks

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. - George Carlin

I did not have 3,000 pairs of shoes. I had 1,060. - Imelda Marcos

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

What would your shoes say about the things you do everyday? - Sherley Mondesir-Prescott

The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents. - John J. Plomp

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. - Phyllis Diller

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

I walk around like everything if fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Unknown

It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it's the pebble in your shoe. - Muhammad Ali

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung

Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

You can tell it's good if you light it and a blue flame comes up; that means it's good moonshine and it won't make you go blind. - Johnny Knoxville

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Lawyers are like unrequited lovers: you give them an inch, and they go for the whole nine yards; you take off one shoe, and they pull down your pants. - Andres Rueda