Moonshiners

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Humanity is just a virus with shoes. - Bill Hicks

Nurses are angels in comfortable shoes. - Unknown

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

I did not have 3,000 pairs of shoes. I had 1,060. - Imelda Marcos

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents. - John J. Plomp

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine. - Casablanca

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I always sleep with one shoe in my hand to put out any fires I may accidentally ignite. - Gene Fowler

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

They went into my closets looking for skeletons, but thank God, all they found were shoes. - Imelda Marcos

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

The ballet toe shoe is one of the few instruments of torture to survive intact into our time. - Unknown

I walk around like everything if fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Unknown

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks. - Groucho Marx

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison

Lawyers are like unrequited lovers: you give them an inch, and they go for the whole nine yards; you take off one shoe, and they pull down your pants. - Andres Rueda