#1 humor site on the 'net

Morning After Giraffe

A hot summer on the Serengeti Plains

Morning After Giraffe thanks to Skippy Flink

QuotaBills
New Year's Day is every man's birthday. - Charles Lamb

The New Year begins in a snow-storm of white vows. - George William Curtis

When I go I'll take New Year's Eve with me. - Guy Lombardo

Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right. - Oprah Winfrey

It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets. - William Thomas

I think in terms of the day's resolutions, not the year's. - Henry Moore

Every man regards his own life as the New Year’s Eve of time. - Jean Paul Richter

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling. He who makes one is a fool. - F.M. Knowles

And now we welcome the new year. Full of things that have never been. - Rainer M. Rilke

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions! - Joey Adams

Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits. - Unknown

Your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing. - Abraham Lincoln

Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it's twice as onerous a duty. - John Selden

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. - Unknown

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. - Oscar Wilde

One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things. - John Burroughs

Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering, "It will be happier..." - Alfred Tennyson

The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul. - G K Chesterton

But can one still make resolutions when one is over forty? I live according to twenty-year-old habits. - Andre Gide

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive. - Jay Leno

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. - Benjamin Franklin

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. - Bill Vaughan

Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year's resolutions, and I've stuck with it ever since. - Dave Beard

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. - Bill Vaughan

An individual starts off by facing his problem with resolution, but a convention saves the resolution for the end. - Unknown

From New Year's on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining. - Leonard Bernstein

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time. - James Agate

NASA scientists have been studying giraffe skin so they can apply what they learn from it to the construction of spacesuits. - Joanna Lumley

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown

New Year's Day ... now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. - Mark Twain


Mask Alternatives

Watch Out For Deer!

Chinese Music School

Student Driver

iPad Not

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

It Even Has A Chimney

Seal Survival

www: Wagtail Windscreen Wiper

Water Dancer

Shopping Wait-er

Flamingo Imposter

Goat Tree

Ontario Spring Dining

Empty Birdhouse

180 Degrees From Ordinary

How To Float

Redneck Tank Top

Grasping Shirt

Detroit Counterfeit Bill

Hazardous Delivery

Log Out - Here It Comes!

Search and Rescue - Dry Run

Staff Teeth